Justin Beiber

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Funeral... You can't spell it without FUN

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Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 8 9. I'm just counting

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Your mum is SO fat... She died of a heart attack

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What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

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A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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what do you call a gay guy? kevin

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock - who's there? Bob -bob who.... Bobs knocking for suzie!

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What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

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Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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