when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

Whats worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

Bob Saget that is all

Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

what do you call a white and black girl 69? ying yang

Why is adam jackson so black when his parents are white? their was alot of black dick up their during the pregnency. (once you go black, you NEVER go back!)

YOU: Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy swimming in a pool? Nothing except one has melenan in their skin

Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

My friend was in court for stealling smoothies so i told him to plead innocent and received 10 years in a federal prison and a fine of up too £5000 pounds

What's the difference between a black preist and a white priest? the color of their skin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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