A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

what do you call it when justin beiber makes a sex tape with selina gomez? lesbian porn.

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

what you get time to go with? - a clock

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

Roses are red Roses are also white and Violets are Violet not blue. Also I'm a realist and your grandmother is going to die soon

I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

roses are gay s is justin beber s are u justen beber eats crap

Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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