Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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what good about eatting every night knowing that a african want

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops