Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

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I had an amnesia joke But it was written down on a slip of paper because someone else wrote it down. Let me just take it out & read it to you

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

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A man walks in a bar he talks to the bartender aand he tells him a joke about him and hs friends. how do you find out his name? You killl the bartenders friends and family untill he talks.

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Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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