Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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The WNBA is on the cooking channel

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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what's up? my penis.

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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