Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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Skinny people fart less.

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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