Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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