What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

Tony Soprano walks into a diner

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

What is a taco made out of? A. Various ingredients ranging from cheese to sour cream.

What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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