They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit!!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

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You were born.

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why does everyone love Randy Jackson? Well it's sure not because he's black.

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The joke below me was written by someone who was mauled by a panther and raped by a tribe.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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ert

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Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

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Women's Professional _________

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A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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