What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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why did the chicken cross the road? does a chicken have to explain everything it does?? do u explain to everyone around you why you're crossing the road every time?! i think not!

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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A man walks into a bar. He has had a tough day at work and unwinds with a beer. He goes home to his loving family. He makes love to his wife that night. It's good but not great.

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How are baseball and the holocaust similar? They're both games, except for the holocaust

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops