what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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My Butthole.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie...

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What has 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and half a fish.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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what has wheels and can fly and is purple? A plane i lied about the color purple

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What is a pirate's favorite color? It depends on the pirate.

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Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

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Bala: Brid why don't you drink? Brid: When I was in college I was in students council. Whenever my friends called me during night, I used to go pick them up. Once we were working late in college and in the morning my hair was all ruined...

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Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and died.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops