A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

True or False : it would not cause a public disturbence to express your pornography to the public??? ture. pornography is the freedom of speech and ability to express oneself

thumb_up thumb_down +8

NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did u know that 10/10 people die?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walked into a bar. I shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops