How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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(Insert joke here)

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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Jeff

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this website even though its hilarious.

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

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how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

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How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim? Our faiths are actually derived from the same Judeo base.

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What's a foot long and slippery A dick

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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