What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A dead panda.

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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dry handjob

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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