An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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what do you call an old man missing a toe? a diabetic.

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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2 + 2 = fish

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

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Turkey Balls

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you through them.

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Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

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There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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