My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the man leave his house during a state of emergency? he didnt

thumb_up thumb_down +20

2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock. Doors open

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why couldn't the boy use the computer He could i meant could

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops