whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Wrong. What doesn't kill you could leave you in a parapledgic state.

What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

Connor is homo

Caitlin Jenner has a mangina.

Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

What did the old man say? Im old

Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

What does it mean when you have big shoes? Either you were genetically born with big feet, or you are wearing sheos that are too big for you.

What's big, white, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.?

I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

Hats better than a stick? A stone

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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