Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We're all equal in the eyes of God.

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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How do you starve a Somalian? Too late.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have 5 Fingers The Middle One's For You!! :D

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Rivals? Someone from the past? Erron, who is "WE"! Tell me now!

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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What does a cow do at McDonald's? He is eaten by obese people.

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what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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