Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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What do you call a man who has lost both his legs, one arm, and half his eye? Larry

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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What's funnier then the holocaust? A second one.

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

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what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

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What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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