Hehe 9/11 Funny Stuff If you know what I mean!!

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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the midget went to the midget store

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

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You spent your time reading this and realized there was no joke.

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weston cage

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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Three men are facing a firing squad. They are all promptly executed. Even if they were to escape by distracting the executioners, they would no doubt be shot down before they could get for.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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