So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

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You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

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What did the blackman say to the whiteman???? Nothing! They both commintted suicide

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

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What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

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wanna hear a better joke? casey.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

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What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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