what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Jonny Cash. Now we have?

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How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

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Penis

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How many christians does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, by the time they finish unscrewing the burned out light, a hi-jacked plane crashes into them.

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

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Why did the bird lose all of it's feathers? It got cancer.

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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