Chuck Norris is dead......

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A Jew, A black, and a Hispanic jump off a building. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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Tom: God! Matt:Where? Tom:Matt i was saying God ! Jesus! Matt: God and Jesus! wow! Tom: why am i talking to you? Matt: Wanna play a game? Tom:bye.

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why dont they make black forks

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Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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Q: what did i say when i crashed into the twin tower. A: nothing i was dead

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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69

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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A duck walks passed a lemonade stand.

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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