Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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There's a elf ,a peice of paper, and a pencil. What happens next? The elf writes on the paper.

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How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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Why did the boy loose his glass with milk? He got hit by a bus.

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

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why did the old lady come home late? she got raped.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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Why did the maths book commit suicide? It wanted to be history

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Why did Christopher Columbus sail to America? Because sailing was faster than swimming.

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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