One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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these are shit

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

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A: What is faster than a speeding bullet? B: Light

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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hard cheese

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How do you know when a bag of chips is stale? It is past the expiration date.

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V I T A M I N C !

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

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What is the difference between a white man and black man who are facing each other? They have different rights.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops