An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

What's black, white and red all over? A cow after slaughter.

What do you call a banana? A banana.

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

I don't like Holocaust jokes. Anne Frankly they offend me,

Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

If you were a pie I'd eat you

Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

VaginaBoob ^.^

Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

Fox News

What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...