Xzibit

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

My three children are three big mistakes.

What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

Q: How do you get 1000 babies into a bucket? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

Im sorry Dylan Hodge Jamie Stegman

Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

If you rewind Gozilla, it's about a giant lizard that helps rebuild a burnig city, and then goes back into the ocean again...

Why was 6 afraid of 7.... because 7 was black

What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

Why do i have no likes? Because im disliked...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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