What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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So a man walks into a bar. Well, he trips over it because it was very low to the ground and he didn't see it.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops