I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

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Why did the black man go to prison? He was visiting his client to give him legal advice.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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So a rouge names creampiiemaker was walking in the vast lands of the arathi basin when a night elf druid with 585 stan and a resil rating of 6750 asked yo bro you wanna duel, the rogue asked with a grin on his face if the night elf was kidding, they then shook hands and went out to gold shire, village and dined on porridge made from the finest vendor, they then warsonged it up all night for mad honor points and got lap dances in gold shire tavern.

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A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks GET OVER IT

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is an antijoke It doesn't have to rhyme.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, I like Tities and so do you

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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What do you call an asian pilot? A pilot you racist bastard

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

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If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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