I went up to my friend and she said to me, "Foop." I calmly went to the nearest teacher and told her that Susie is having a mental breakdown again

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what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

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What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

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why did jimmy stop eating his breakfast two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

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Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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