What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

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what do you call a baby in a blender? A really funny event.

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What's wrong with a black man in a bar? Nothing, Except the fact that he is an alcoholic, and will probably beat his wife after drinking.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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wots brown and smells like shite shite

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im not food

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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