Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If you dumb fooks keep swearing we are going to get banned.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Billy was so silly that he named his pet zebra Spot.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Wanna hear a riddle? Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Stop me if you heard this one before.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops