How do you get a girl out of a tree? You throw a refrigirator at her.

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whats the differnce between a cadilack and a pile of dead babies? theres no cadilack in the back of my car1 >.>

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

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What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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Q: Why did the kid cross the playground? A: To get to the other slide

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Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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What's black on bottom and white on top?? Society

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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