Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Knock knock Whose there? 4

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a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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hard cheese

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Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

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what's 9+10? 19, not 21

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What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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