Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

Hey, you wanna hear a joke? The holocaust.

What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

LOLLLLLL! Lakers? making me laugh so hard! LMAO

Stop me if you heard this one before.

What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

What did the fly say to the frog? Nothing, insects can't talk.

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? Nothing at all, except the WNBA is professional basketball players of the female sex.

Q. What do you get when you cross the North Korean border and an American? A. Death.

There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...