Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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what did the little boy say when the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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Jake. Walsh.

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WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

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I just found out i have cancer.

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What did the man say when he saw a purple cow? Nothing. He was blind.

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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Q: What did the Black man say to the kool ade Man? A: You're not real -BonkersLive

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

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Q. Dr.evil? JHHHHHHHHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? being wrongly accussed of a crime you didnt commit because of your race, and being put on death row

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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