Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

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What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

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whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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9

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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What's the same between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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Why is cheese yellow? Answer: I don't know, I was hoping that you would know.

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How do you get a n***r out of a tree? Cut the rope

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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