How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What did Chuck Norris say when he saw a cop -Hi

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Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Dylan is gay

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Q. Knock knock A. Who's there Q. DEEZ A. DEEZ who A. DEEZ NUTZ HA GOT EEEEEM

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Anal

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ati jokes are not to be funny. what about u

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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