What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +38

24

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Where is the last place you would find a Mexican? In a good hiding spot that you didn't think of while trying to find him.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +32

You're Adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

thumb_up thumb_down +32

knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock Whos There? Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops