Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

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What did the orphan get on his birthday? Cancer.

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

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What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

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Wanna hear a great joke? (any answer) Your dad's choice of condom.

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A guy walks into a bar... Ouch

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Why did the kitchen cross the road?

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

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The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda *pop*" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

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roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

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Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

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four nazis are walking towards this jew. as soon as the first nazi came in arms reach of the jew he and his friends started to maliciously hug the jew.......................................and then 20 years later they killed his family.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

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violets are blue, my name is Dave. this poem makes no sense. microwave.

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What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

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why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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How can you put 2 elephants in a bottle without touching each other. You put an elephant between them.

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What's black and has been free since the 1700's? What? I don't know, i was asking you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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