what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

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Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

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What's brown and sticky? Anal rape

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? "Where's my keys?!"

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what do you call a black man being hung from a tree? -prejudice

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO CARES!!

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What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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What is harder than Jenga? Being a quadraplegic.

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*prepares this to get negged*

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his whole family

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two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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You are so stupid you should go to school and get an education so you are able to get a well paying job in this tough economy

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Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.????????

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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Womens rights.

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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