What did the kid say when he fell of a cliff and met Tom jones? Hi

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

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I dont know, are you a tomato?

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your mum

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

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Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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shut up iggy

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Black Person Eating Fried Chicken

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

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What did the kid with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? A: Polio.

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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