What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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a man walks into a prostitute.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? On a fundamental level, it was pursuing evolutionary instincts, perhaps a half-bored interest in food.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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whats purple and savage? Barney!

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who likes fried chicken? almost everyone because fried chicken is delicious

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm blind.

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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I need a good anti joke....

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A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

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Q:whats comes back to life and says RAR A;jesus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops