Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why do everytime I go to toilet for number 2. I look into the toilet to see if this one's nicer than the last one.

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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What did one computer say to the other? 100111010100100111001010010001110101110010100010101011010011010010111000010101100100100100001101010000011111010010011010100110101001010100101010101010100101011010010010101010110010110010100100010101010101010

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women rights

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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Who is the fiercist Raptor of them all? Matt Daly

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

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whats your name? bumder:)

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Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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what did the crippled boy say to the truck driver? "i like cats."

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Why was the women out of the kitchen? She felt the desire to relax after a day of work...

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a tree house? No Neither did she

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Do you want to hear a joke? No. Women's- oh, okay.

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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A man walked into a bar There were some other people there too

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Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops