How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

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What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

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Rick Santorum 2012

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how do you starve a man who is on welfare? hide his food stamps under his work boots.

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What happend when 1 second past after 7:00 am? It was still 7:00 am.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was already in the oven.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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MAGHBERRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

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LMFAO - "WE runnin' through these hoes like Drano?" Is that really what society has sunken to? Is this really what is accepted? Is this what we are jamming into children's moralities? Society is Screwed!

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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