What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Blonde: I'm sad. Brunette: Why? Blonde: I walked into a bar just to see my boyfriend having a drink with another woman, Brunette: I'm so sorry,

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

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Why did the homeless man cross the road? The soup kitchen has just reopened after months of rebuilding from a fire. He was very hungry.

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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How many WOMEN does it take to change a light bulb? YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS GONNA BE MORE THAN ONE!

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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WHO the FUK are Waseem ? and Jess ??!!!!

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

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Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

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A buissnes man walks into a meeting and says hello i'm a buissnesman

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops