Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

thumb_up thumb_down -2

wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

thumb_up thumb_down -2

where wally? wallys a myth.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

i want justin beiber to release more albums so that i can not buy them

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the crippled Nazi say to the Jew? Get in the train.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black guy drown in the river?? unfortunately he owed 10,000 dollars to a loan shark and couldnt pay his dues So he was tied to an anchor and put in the river.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does a black man do when he breaks into a car? He steals the radio

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jersey Shore

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how many jews can you fit in a volkenswagen? 2 jews in the front 2 jews in the back 15 jews in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops