your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Lil' Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock, Knock Who's there? Minecraft!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What kind of a prediction is THAT?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mom is so hairy that she must not feel comfortable in her everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo mamas so tan she might get skin cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cross the road? It is impossible to tell because we cannot communicate with chickens, but we can assume there was something of interest over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

thumb_up thumb_down +14

-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops