What do you call a black man in an envelope? A tiny black man

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

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McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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Q: Whats red and circular? A: A red circle

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you smell like crystall meth.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Shit!

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Why couldn't the girl throw the baseball over the fence? She had no arms.

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your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

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Lil' Wayne

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Shmellmype. Shmellmype who? HAHAHAHAHA (read out loud)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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